Wednesday, February 10, 2010
{ 12:51 PM }
Someone said the pain would go away someday, but I’m not sure that’s where I want it to go.
Because I know, nothing ever really just disappears.
Things don’t go away, they just bury themselves.
They hide away. They become engrained on the walls of our hearts.
And without the pain, it’s just me.
It’s just my anger and my heartache. And that never goes away.
But you do, you did. And I can’t do anything about it.
Although we’re still friends. But the distance is tearing me apart.
And that’s the hardest part, is that I can’t do anything about it even though I know I want to,
and I know I would if I could, but I can’t.
I can still remember the first time we met.
The way I feel when I went to look for you when I came back from Jakarta.
The way you tugged my arms when we walked down the streets.
The times we kissed, on the cheek, the mouth, on our foreheads.
The way we walked home together looking up the skies, star gazing.
The way we watched movies when we’re having stayovers.
The way we bickered.
The way you introduced me to your friends.
The way we could talk for hours under your void deck.
The way we watched videos via facebook.
The way we snuggled on bed.
The way we made out.
The way we used to text each other like there’s no tomorrow.
The way we have to part when I’m at your house.
The way we used to say ‘Message me!’, ‘No, you message me first!’ when we part.
The way we walked home from causeway point.
The way you surprised me at my window.
The way you said you can’t possibly don’t want me.
The way you smile when I said you’re beautiful.
The way you called me ‘b’.
The way you bit me.
The way we wrestled in your room.
The way you stroked my hair.
The way you smiled so happily to me.
The way we hugged and never want to let go.
The way you called and told me you missed my voice.
The way you said ‘I love you’.
The way we chatted on MSN.
The way you expressed your love.
The way we would message each other goodnights.
The way you said my eyes were beautiful.
The way you did manicures when we’re watching shows.
The way you always wanted me to ‘itchy itchy’ you to sleep.
The way we planned for our future.
The way we quarrel and made up.
The way we sing duets at kbox.
And the list goes on. I can never forget that feeling, never. Will you forget about it?
If you realised, everything’s in past tense.
I’m no longer yours, so what right do I have to stop you from doing certain things?
I just want you to know, that I’ve been fighting to let you go.
With this glimpse of hope, baby you’ll come back to me.
C, you meant this much to me.
